Because HE Lives...

For most of my life, Christmas was my favorite holiday. As a child I obviously looked forward to Santa coming and the gifts.  As a mom, I fell in love with Christmas for a different reason. There is nothing like watching the excitement of your child at Christmas. I used to love the sights, smells, crafts, decorating, baking, gift wrapping...all of it!

Then we lost Matthew...
and everything changed.

From a religious stand point, I still love Christmas. Nothing, not even the death of my son, can diminish the gift of Christ. But Christmas is no longer my favorite holiday. It's hard, really hard. And I don't think that's ever going to change.

My new favorite holiday is Easter.

Matthew died in January, and Easter was our first real holiday without him. It was the first time our extended family was all together. It was one of the first times (of many) I was consumed by his absence and by the fact that our lives are forever changed.

But somehow through the unspeakable pain and grief so soon after Matthew's death, I discovered a new love for Easter and it's true meaning.

Christmas is a beautiful holiday. The birth of our Savior is a wondrous, joyous occasion. But it only the beginning of the story.  Without the end of the story, The Gift has no purpose. Without Easter, what does the birth of Christ mean???

In Easter, I have discovered the true beauty of the story, the true meaning of the gift of Christ.

We are all sinners by nature...

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 

~Romans 3:23

But when Jesus came to earth, died on the cross, then rose from the dead three days later...

It all changed!

For the wages of sin is death,  but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

~Romans 6:23 

Three years ago, on that first Easter without my Matthew, I finally began to understand what God had truly given me in The Gift of Christ.

Because of Easter, I get to see my Matthew again.
Because of Easter, my family will be complete again.
Because of Easter, we will be reunited one day for eternity.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

~John 3:16

It overwhelms me.
I am not worthy.
Yet for some reason, God loves me enough that HE spared HIS son, so that I may see my son again. It's the reassurance of that promise that keeps me going. It's how I survive the darkest moments.

So if you see a tear on my face the next few days, it may be because I am missing Matthew. Or, it may be because every Easter I feel completely overwhelmed by what this holiday truly means.

Thank you Jesus for dying for me. Thank you for giving me the gift of eternal life. Thank you for promising me that I will see Matthew again. Your gift is more than I can comprehend.

~Mylissa