However, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself,
and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:33
Love...
There are countless songs, poems, books, movies and even scriptures on the subject. And this week is the holiday to celebrate it all...
Valentines Day
And truth be told, I love Valentines Day. I like having a nice dinner with my hubby. I like him paying special attention to me for the day. I like getting a sappy card. I'm a girlie girl...what can I say???
However, not too long ago, I dreaded the "love" holiday. There was a point when Chip and I became so consumed with other things, that we lost touch with each other. We lost some of the magic that was "us". Then, Matthew died. And then, Will took a downward spiral. And our marriage became a big hot mess.
Statistics on marriages that fail after the death of a child are pretty staggering. We were painfully aware of that and did not want to become one of those numbers. Yet as we grieved for Matthew in very different ways, we grew further and further apart. We were not able to communicate in a healthy way. We pulled further and further away from each other until we reached a very dangerous point. We both agreed that we did not want our marriage to end, yet we were clueless what to do to save it. So we decided to give it to God. We both committed to HIM that we wanted to save our marriage, but were powerless to do it. We agreed to "go through motions" and give God a chance to work.
I was extremely impatient during this time.
I wanted God to work quickly.
HE had other plans.
I wanted my family restored "now".
HE had other plans.
So I reached a point where I simply surrendered and said "I love you Lord and I trust you". It was one more area I had to intentionally choose to praise HIM in the storm. Look carefully at what I just said. I to choose to praise God.
It was not what I wanted.
I wanted God to swoop in and save the day.
After all, I had already buried a child and had another one going down a dangerous emotional and physical trail. Why wouldn't God hurry up and restore my marriage?!?
I don't know the answer to that "why" (like so many others). What I do know is that God did restore my marriage in HIS time. It has been a long journey. But now I have a beautiful, Godly marriage, that is stronger than ever before. Chip and I have found a love and respect for each other that did not exist before. It is an amazing gift from God. And without a doubt, another part of HIM rewriting our story for HIS glory.
Some of you may be struggling in your marriage right now. Marriage is hard. Really hard sometimes! It takes two people who are willing to work and each give 100%. I am giving God the glory for what HE did in our marriage and asking you to do the same. Without out HIM, we would be another statistic by now.
Everyday stresses take a toll on a marriage. Tragedies happen in every family. So, whatever your story, whatever is straining your relationship with your spouse, I encourage you to give it to God. It is not easy, but HE will do something amazing when you give it all to HIM.
Stay strong.
Stay committed.
Stay resolved to stay together.
Stay patient. God works in HIS time, not ours. But HIS timing is always perfect.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.~1 Corinthians 13:13
