Grace and My Family

Earlier this year I read The Resolution for Women by Priscilla Shirer. It is based on the movie Courageous.  This book was so powerful to me. I wanted to rush through each chapter and read it as quickly as I could. If I had allowed myself, I think I would have easily finished it in a week. But, I didn't. I forced myself to go slowly. I only read one section a day, then allowed myself to think and meditate on what was said.  I  must confess, this book stepped on my toes so much, I don't know how I was able to lace up my running shoes and keep training for a 1/2 marathon while I was going through it!  I took notes, highlighted, made notes in the margins...all the while discovering new things about myself.

One particular chapter has been stuck in my mind the past few weeks. Over this long weekend, I've taken time to look back at it and review the parts that spoke to my heart. It's the section titled Living With Grace.  It's not referring to wonderful, beautiful, undeserving grace we receive from God. It's referring to the grace we should be extending in our homes. Yes, that's right...the grace we, as women should be extending in our homes, whether married or single.

It's our job to create a place of peace and understanding for those who live with us and all who enter.  Now, let me be the first to admit, this has not been something I have always been good at.  I have lost my cool with my sweet husband and children more times than I could possibly count.  But it is something that God has brought to my attention and together we have been working on it.  Since Matthew's death, certain things just don't matter to me like they used too. I don't sweat the small stuff. So, that alone has made it easier for me to accept the way Chip and Will do things some times.  Don't misunderstand, I still find myself counting backwards from ten from time to time before I respond to them, but it happens much less now than it used to. 

Everyday in our homes, there are issues, disagreements, potential "disasters", displays of weakness or failure.  I'm not talking about real problems that are serious and deserve some emotional attention. I'm talking about the insignificant issues that we turn into Drama 101. Things that in the grand scheme of things really don't matter. So many times, I have been guilty of holding those things over my family's head; keeping them in the back of my mind; not letting something go.  Have you?  It's so easy to do. As women, we are often tired and worn out. We carry much of the workload and burdens of the home. We just want our family to do things our way so that things to according to our plan. Can anyone relate?  However, our husbands and children sometimes have a different agenda from ours.  They sometimes make mistakes.  They sometimes forget things (over & over & over again!). And sometimes, they just act plain stupid! I used to let these things really upset me. And because it upset me, the atmosphere of the entire house changed.

I don't want to be like that anymore. Thankfully, I'm not like that anymore (most of the time).  God and I are still working on it, but I'm learning to respond in a more God like way to my family.  Sometimes I say okay, just because I know it will keep peace in my house. Sometimes I walk away when I really want to scream. Sometimes I laugh to keep from getting upset. Sometimes I do literally count backwards from ten before I open my mouth to speak. Chip has learned to recognize the "counting face" and he thinks it's funny to ask if I started at 10 or 100.

The Resolution, says we are to dispense grace. Grace is defined as favor or kindness expressed to the undeserving.  The undeserving.  That pretty much describes each and everyone of us...the undeserving. So, we are to express favor and kindness to who??? Everyone.

Unfortunately, those we love the most are sometimes, the last ones we show "favor and kindness".  I don't want that to be the case in my house. I want my house to be a place of love, peace and acceptance. I hate that there have been times when my mood changed the entire setting of our home.  I refuse to let the devil use me in that way anymore! I want my husband and son to know they are loved unconditionally. That mistakes are just that, mistakes. I want grace to be so overwhelming in my house that anyone who enters feels it and knows it is present.  This may be a life long process for me, but I am determined to keep working at it. My family deserves it. My family is worth it!

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger

Proverbs 15:1