About a year ago, I read a book called The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. Earlier this year, I followed up with Draw The Circle, a 40 day prayer challenge, written by the same author. These two books have radically changed my prayer life and taught me to pray in a much bolder way. I kept a prayer journal while doing the 40 day challenge. Since that time, my precious little writing time has been spent in that journal. While God often brings a variety of people or things to my heart to pray about, I have noticed three distinct themes in my written prayers.
The first is the Matthew Project. For quite some time, Chip and I felt a little "stuck" in what we were doing. We began to ask God for direction. We both know there is more we are supposed to be doing, but for a long time we were honestly clueless. God is beginning to show us a direction and open a few doors. We are boldly praying about two very specific things and waiting to see what God is going to do. It is really neat to be able to look into my prayer journal and literally see the way my prayers are being answered for the work of the project. But even as God is beginning to reveal some things to us, I have to remind myself to stay faithful in prayerfully seeking HIS direction.
The second area is a very personal issue and I cannot share details of it. It's something that Chip and I both want God to specifically tell us what to do, but that hasn't happened yet. What I can see in my journal is God continually telling me to do nothing. He has not stopped assuring me that this is not my battle, it is HIS. He repeatedly brings Exodus 14:14 to me as a reminder:
The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. (NIV)So even though I want God to give me a specific action to take, I know HE is telling me to do nothing and let HIM take care of it. My human side doesn't like that, but I am trying to faithfully obey. And again, it's really neat to see the progression of these prayers in my prayer journal.
The third area however is a much different story and it's very frustrating. The third consistent theme I can see in my journal is written prayers and pleadings for our son Will. And most days, I honestly feel like I am beating my head against the wall. God is not answering my prayers in the way I want HIM to or in the time frame that I want HIM to. Quite honestly, there are days that I wonder if my prayers for Will matter at all. I just don't understand what God is allowing in the life of my son. Since Matthew's death Will has struggled, greatly. As his momma, it has been heartbreaking and I so desperately want God to intervene and do something God-sized in the life of my child. That's the human side of me and I am currently enduring a great struggle between my heart and my head. My heart hurts for my child. My head knows that there are things I cannot see and there are things I do not know - God is up to something. I am reminded that no matter how much I love my son (and it is a lot!), God loves him so much more. My love for Will is only a tiny speck when compared with God's great and vast love for him. So even though I cannot see a response to my prayers, I am trusting that God is at work on Will's behalf. When I feel completely defeated and I want to give up, I remind myself that God does hear my prayers. I believe that God does and will honor the prayers of a faithful mother and I turn to this verse as a prayer guide:
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.This verse reminds me to never stop praying. I now realize that when my children were younger, I did not pray the right way for them. I prayed for their salvation and I prayed for their general protection, but I did not pray effective, sustaining prayers. I did not pray for protection from evil. Evil is real and present in this world and I have seen it at work in the life of my son for the last four years. I can't change the past. I can't go back in time and pray for my son to be protected from the attacks of Satan. I can't change what has happened in his life.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)
But I can pray for God to move in a mighty way in his life now. I can pray for God to take what the devil intended for harm and use it for good (Genesis 50:20). I cannot see what God is doing, but I am choosing to trust that HE is up to something. There are days that my sweet hubby has to remind me of that, but I will not stop praying and I will not give up hope.
I know there are other mommas out there who feel the same way. You wonder if God hears your prayers for your children. You sometimes don't understand what is happening and you get frustrated. I want to encourage you...NEVER STOP PRAYING! I believe it is the greatest gift we can give our children. And as their mommas, we can pray for them like no one else. There is no love like a mother's for her child and I believe there is no prayer like a mother's for her child.
So mommas (and daddies, grandmas, and grandpas too) I am challenging you to join me in praying this scripture over our children:
HE does hear us.
The Armour of God
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
Ephesians 6:10-18 (NIV)
Never stop praying.
